


Sometimes you want to date bread and that is.... fine.

by Shroombasai



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Carrots, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Hot Topic, There is one curse word because you know exactly why-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26885224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shroombasai/pseuds/Shroombasai
Summary: This only exists because of a conversation in Discord. I wished I had better context for this-The title of Ibuki's song was not made by me. You know who you are.
Relationships: Mioda Ibuki/Bread, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Today was a good day for Ibuki! She was finally meeting her online date mate, which she met off of the internet. She stares down at her phone, the profile picture of a loaf of bread making her smile. Man, it was so cute, the way it spoke and laughed on calls! Ibuki just wanted to gobble them up!

Well, not literally _gobble_ them, because that is kind of really mean. Ibuki didn’t want to be mean.

She skipped through the park, Hello Kitty playing through her headphones, a grin on her face. How could she get any more lucky!

Ibuki finally arrives at her destination, a large oak tree by a playground, the sound of laughter filling the air. Ibuki sits down at the metal bench underneath the tree, swinging her legs to and fro as she waited for her date mate to arrive. She wanted to show them a new song she wrote, called ’ im fucking gay for a bread and my bandage wrap waifu’.

No, seriously. No joke. It just came to her in a dark coloured dream with what appeared to be several people. most of which she kind of knew, talking to one another. It was a weird dream, but who was she to deny destiny?

“ Mioda-chan!” A voice calls out her name, and Ibuki looks to her left. Standing there was a loaf of bread, freshly baked and golden, beautiful in the atmosphere of the park. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and kids like her was going to have the best day ever!

“ Bread-chan!” Ibuki jumped up and ran to Bread, scooping them up and spinning. “ Aw, you’re even cuter in real life!”

Bread laughed, and the warmth of their crust made Ibuki feel warm inside, Ibuki setting them back down. She was beaming so brightly, Bread laughing lightly. It was music to her ears.

“ Ibuki wants to show Bread-chan something!” Ibuki said, Bread humming lightheartedly. From the depths of Ibuki’s sheer willpower and the laws of ‘ Nothing is Going to Stop Me from Impressing my Date Mate’, she pulls out an electric guitar and set-up, right there in the park. Bread moves to the bench and takes a seat as Ibuki tunes her guitar, which takes no time at all.

“ Ready? This is my newest song, which I made just for you! It’s called, ‘im fucking gay for a bread and my bandage wrap waifu’!”

“ I can’t wait to hear it, Mioda-chan.”

Ibuki nods, placing her pick on the strings. She was so excited to play!

She takes one breath, then two, then begins playing. The sound reverberates through the park, melding with the sound of children playing, and Ibuki sings her heart out to Bread, Bread watching her with awe in their aura.

Ibuki continues to play, and more and more people began coming around her, listening to her music. That was fine, because Ibuki wanted everyone to know just how much she loved Bread! Each lyric leaps out from her heart, each strum singing and dancing with such excitement that she was sure held her deepest feelings.

Eventually, as everything came to be, the song draws to a close, and people start applauding. Ibuki smiles and throws them a very normal double finger gun motion, but she was mostly looking for the approval of one being in particular, her eyes moving to Bread, who was sitting there in silence.

“ Did you like that, Bread-chan? I made it all for you!”

“ W-Wow…. It’s amazing!” Bread shines brilliantly despite being in the shade of the tree, and Ibuki jumps in place, laughing to herself. Bread loved it! She knew it!

She runs over and scoops up Bread again, giving them a wholesome smooch on the top of their golden brown skin. “ Aw, Bread-chan is amazing too!”

Bread laughs, and it’s the best kind of music Ibuki has ever heard. Even as people all go back to their previous positions before the impromptu concert meant for one special being in particular, Bread is still by her side, Ibuki smiling as she held them. Oh, she should definitely tell her other girlfriend, she’ll love Bread too! She was so happy Mikan let her pursue this, even if it meant that Ibuki had to give triple the cuddles and reassurances for her. It wasn’t a problem at all, after all, she loved them both, and of course she was going to show how much!

“ Come on, Mikan-chan is going to love you too! I’ve told you all about her!”

“ She sounds like a wonderful woman.”

“ Mmhmm!” With that, Ibuki takes Bread bridal style and runs out of the park, making sure to pick up her equipment on the way and chuck them back into the void. She makes sure to wave at the strange being that lived there before she started running all the way home.

Oh, this was such a good day.

+++

“ Mikan-chan! Look!”

Mikan peeks out from her blanket fort, blinking as Ibuki set down Bread, who twinkles happily at her. Mikan offers a shy wave, looking up at Ibuki. “ Who is this?”

“ Bread-chan! You know, the cute snack I found? Aren’t they cute?”

Mikan looks back down, her nervous smile growing bigger. “ Oh, I…. guess? H-hi?”

“ Hello!”

“ Oh my serotonin, it talked-“


	2. The Sequel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My hand was forced. It is even shorter and makes even less sense, but here. Sorry.

The Sequel that was forced from my cold, cold hands.

From the depths of Hot Topic, a being far more devastating than a Karen not getting what she wants awakens to the smell of freshly baked bread.

  
“ What is that olfactory delight?”

  
“ That would be bread, Gundham.” The only other worker there says, still trying to hang up all of the shirts. “ Now can you stop sleeping underneath the racks? We’re opening in twenty minutes.”

  
“ Leave me and my eternal rest alone.” Gundham says, Shuichi rolling his eyes.

  
“ Yeah, but I would rather not have to explain the man underneath the Hot Topic racks. So, uh… actually, could you go pick up lunch for us? I kinda… forgot to eat this morning.”

“ You are sending me on a quest?” Gundham hops to his stylish feet, his hamsters all scattering from across the store to hide in his scarf. “ I shall accept this! I shall return in a fortnight, Lamp Investigator of Darkness!” With a flourish, Gundham departs from the Hot Topic.

Shuichi just watches, nodding slowly. “ Okay, have fun, Gundham.” He turns to the mountain of black shirts, sighing. “ Great, guess I’ll die.”

+++

Ibuki smiles as she skips through town, Mikan on one side of her and Bread on the other. Mikan apologized to every person they passed, Ibuki offering a cheery wave. Bread kept to her side happily, their warmth pressing against Ibuki’s hand.

Suddenly, a dark blur zips in front of them, Mikan squealing and nearly tripping over herself had Ibuki not effortlessly caught her with a grin.

“ Oh, hi Gundham-chan!” Ibuki waves with the hand that held Mikan’s, who nervously greets him as well.

Only, Gundham was ignoring her, instead staring at Bread — who, somehow through the power of Fanfiction Bull, sweat drops— with hungry eyes.

Ibuki cocks her head in confusion, tracing his eyesight to Bread.

Oh no.

“ Will you honour my request for me to come in possession of that?” Gundham points to Bread, and Ibuki yelps, holding Bread close to her heart.

“ Um, no thanks, Gundham-chan! This is Bread-chan, they’re my date mate!”

“… What.”

Ibuki doesn’t bother to answer him, instead grabbing her girlfriend’s hand and running away. Gundham frowns and gives chase, and now there were two lesbians plus bread and the entity that is Gundham Tanaka running down the streets, Ibuki loudly yelling only because she could and nothing was stopping her.

If they woke up anybody, they wouldn’t have known. Still, Ibuki was running for Bread’s life, and like heck was she going to let Gundham _win_.

“ M-Mioda-chan, why are we r-running so fast!”

“ We are _not_ letting Gundham-chan eat Bread-chan!”

Mikan just nervously nods as they run into the sunset, Gundham hot after their tails.

Does Gundham succeed? Who knows.

All we know is that Ibuki will do anything to protect her… ‘waifus’, as she calls them.

Spoilers though: Gundham has legs, and he is going to _use them_.


	3. Third Time is Not the Charm-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I.... Here.

Guess what’s back-

Ibuki ran through the laws of reality, Mikan trying her very best to keep up while Bread was tucked underneath her arm, the Overlord of Ice hot on their tails.

During their trip, they had to take a break, as they were still humans, even if they had unnecessarily exceptional talents rooted in their skin. Ibuki stops by a carrot stand, which is run by a white haired boy… robot…. Ibuki didn’t know, and honestly didn’t want to know. In front of him was just a bunch of carrots, Ibuki grinning with an idea.

“ Hey! Funky robot boy whatever! Can I have some of those carrots?”

The boy raises an eyebrow, looking down at the carrots. “ Uh… I mean, why?”

“ Because-“

“ Come back here mortal-“

“ Because of that! Anyways, yoINK-“ Ibuki scoops up the piles upon piles of carrots and throws them in Gundham’s direction, despite the protests of the carrot cart owner.

It could not deter the Gundham, because nothing can deter the Gundham. Except for maybe touching people, but that was another corn of bread altogether.

Ibuki groans and starts booking it once more, Mikan apologizing to the carrot owner before attempting to run after her girlfriend.

Attempt, as in she trips ten seconds into running, and Gundham catches up to her. He doesn’t reach a hand out to her, but he does ask if she was alright, Mikan giving a quick apology before situating herself.

“ So, bandage mortal, where has your sparkly mate gone?”

“ Wh-Wha?”

  
Gundham waves his fingers in the air as if it would help anything — which it doesn’t, by the way — and Mikan stares at him in confusion, Gundham huffing and crossing his arms. “ Nevermind, a mere mortal such as you would not understand the schematics. What I am asking is for that loaf of wheat that your mate is carrying on her vessel. One of my demon companions requested a fine nourishment as he did not manage to refill in the early spots of morn.”

Mikan just frowns, tugging at her sweater. “ Is Shuichi forgetting to eat again? I c-can go get food f-from the McDonalds Pizza Hut?”

“ No, I shall not venture into that… cursed area of oils. I need something more fresher! Like that loaf of baked yeast!”

“ I don’t…. Okay, uh, I think Ibuki is probably far away from us, so I don’t”

“ Then there is not a moment to waste! I must bid you adieu, bandage mortal!” Gundham runs away on his elegant legs, scarf flapping behind him, and Mikan just watches.

“ Oh… Okay then. Um, I’ll just….. go back home to my blanket fort.” Mikan sighs and quietly makes her way home, hoping that Ibuki and her Bread date mate would be okay.

Meanwhile, Ibuki was running like the motherhecking wind, Bread clinging onto her for dear life.

“ Wow, you sure do run fast, Mioda-chan!”

“ Thanks! It’s the sugar!”

“ Come back here mortal and hand over that loaf!” Gundham’s voice catches up to them throughout the sheer power of having a naturally loud and theatrical voice, and Ibuki grins and turns it into overdrive.

Gundham wasn’t going to be deterred that easily, and he glides across the ground so fast it almost looked like he was just cheating and went into sandbox mode, determined to acquire that bread.

Why he was so intent on this one loaf instead of being a normal human being and going to a bakery for one is mostly because Gundham was already this far ahead, so why stop now? He pulls out a carrot that he picked off the ground when Ibuki threw them at her, and the throws it in hopes that it would eventually reach Ibuki.

Sadly, he forgot that the laws of wind still exist, so a powerful gust yeets it away before it even could get remotely close to her, Gundham snapping his fingers in the normal ‘aw darns villain’ snap.

“ I will get you, mortal, and that bread will be mine!”

“ Ha! Sorry, but Ibuki isn’t gonna let you touch a single crumb on Bread-chan!”

“ Do not underestimate the power of the Supreme Overlord of Ice!”

The chase continues on. Who will win? Who will lose? Who knows, because it is definitely not going to be me.


End file.
